You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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