youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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