even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
A+ Viking dick
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
