$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
