I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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