if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
