we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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