so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Let's get the cat blown out
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