I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
