Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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