just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
