she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All I want is dick and wine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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