The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
