2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
God, I missed his penis.
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