I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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