I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
God, I missed his penis.
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