the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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