Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
