Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
two words: eviction party
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
