you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
