I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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