just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
