Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
