I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
