it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Help. Why am I so naked?
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