god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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