...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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