mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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