I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
