she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
