Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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