New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This is classic penis vs brain.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
