that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
