thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
