I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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