Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Randomize