:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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