Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
