dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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