At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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