what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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