Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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