I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
