How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
