So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
