i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Found your dick twin last night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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