If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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