his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
