just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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