That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
