I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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