Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
