Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We are two peas in an std pod
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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