Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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