Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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