I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
