Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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