Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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