someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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