I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
