i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
