hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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