if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
